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Featured One Liner Jokes

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I was too drunk to drive home last night so i drove to another bar

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You know your getting old when you can remember when michael jackson was black and the karate kid was white.

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Whoever said money can't buy happiness never tried to get drunk on a dollar.

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My girlfriend keeps saying that she needs here space so i brought home an employment application from nasa...

Last 10 One Liners:

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What i know, that i say

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Do horses ever say "i'm so hungry i can eat a human?"

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My girlfriend keeps saying that she needs here space so i brought home an employment application from nasa...

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I might be an asshole but i'm your kind of asshole.

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In the past, when you were angry with someone you fought them. Now you just delete them off facebook. That'll teach'em to fuck with you.

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I decided to burn lots of calories today so i set a fat person on fire!

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Twilight, taking the "n" out of "vampire fangs" since 2007

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Drink fast! I look better drunk!

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Whoever said money can't buy happiness never tried to get drunk on a dollar.

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My mom told me to take turns on the sled with my little brother so i have the sled going down the hill and he has it going up the hill.